After reading many of the bios on Twitter , Facebook , linkedin etc .. one gets a feeling that people want to use euphemistic words to explain themselves to the world .. may be ..its their way of fantasizing ..building their own self esteem or to project in certain way they wish they were !
Many of these words / phrases have been taken from actual bios .. If you see such bios ..please dont poke them ..Even if one tries to poke them .. they are sure to give you an explanation to satisfy their “own self” . Please let them enjoy their own world of social media fantasy with their grandiose ego.
Foodie = Fat
Simple = Poor
Straightforward = blabber , can tweet post without thinking
Voracious Reader = has bought Chetan Bhagat Novels in a street side sale .. and has also read some reviews from other “voracious readers”
Entrepreneur = Fired from job .. hanging around on social media
Budding Entrepreneur = Jobless , never had a job
Consultant = out of work .. preparing resume , applying for jobs .. active on naukri.com and linkedin ..hanging around on social media passing time ..checking emails frequently from prospective employers .. also writes shitty (semi-pirated) technical reviews !
Multi-faceted = has been trying to do everything .. “doesnt know”
Jack of all trades = failed on many tracks ..still going on
Techie / Expert = has opened old radio set that had to be junked
Android Expert = owns android phone ( Dad has gifted one)
Kattar ( कट्टर typical marathi bios) = Non-thinker / can engage in any non-intellectual talks related to race , religion , professions , people , regions etc … aka foolish or idiot (never say so to them !)
Blogger = attention seeker / has a blogspot ( because it is free)
Love Sports / Sports crazy = watches cricket matches on TV
Manchester United Fan = watches european soccer games on ESPN at late night from Indian sub-continent (generally wears red t shirt)
Sachin is God / SRK is God / Rajanikant is God = fit to be unfollowed and blocked if one follows you
Priyanka Chopra Fan / Madhuri Dixit Fan = Generally a bot , a sure shot newbie on Twitter
Human / Being Human / mobile freak = road romeo with a android device ..ready to stalk females / female DPs
PuLa fan = has heard pirated versions of Pula Deshpande’s katha-kathan mostly limited to Mhais , Haritatya , Narayan ,Raosaheb , Mi aNi maza shatrupaksh , Sakharam GataNe
VaPu Fan = :Lives in Mumbai suburbs ..travels by local trains
Jai Maharashtra = weak in english ,vernacular education, can make typos .. do not criticize or the religion / regional card would be evoked !
Puneri = Not a true Punekar .. but has achieved the status of permanently moving to Pune ( Generally non-marathi people) .. a born Punekar never calls oneself Puneri
IT pro = Will be active all day-night on social media
Social Worker = student ..failed couple of times .. thinking of alternative career
“Loves kids ” / “Pet Lover” = on social media to find a spouse .. without registering at shaadi.com or match.com
Intellectual / Thinker = could not get laid for long. Willing to pay for Tea-coffee for a date with “any” girl like creature
“Cricket Hater” = Wants to follow girls and tweetchat / DM
Amateur Photographer = has bought a SLR camera in sale .. smart phone has a camera / has an instagram account
Photographer = means nothing on social media .. may be... owns a zoom lens !
Bookworm = Has no hobbies , Hates working out ( That would mean Fat)
Music Junkie = Downloads mp3s from .pk site ..listens to anything free on web
Movie buff = watches anything and everything on movie channel .. all free stuff welcome !
“RTs are not endorsements” = A Fucktard who wants to mess up with abusive language but is afraid of consequences ! ( generally a IIT / IIM guy perpetually hanging around on Twitter .. some asshole editor / journalist )
Exceptional / “I am the best” = wierdo , lost and failed at many levels
O+ / B+ = Severely depressed / lonely soul
Avid Trekker = owns trekking sack ..which was used once ( many many years back )
“Follow to know more about me” = needs followers .. there is nothing to know about this person .. they themselves are lost !
Poet / Artist = Depressed , Obnoxious
Internet addict / Social Media buff = craving for attention all day and night , will do anything for you to follow and increase their social media quotient !
" Diverse Interests " = Tweets a lot of bullshit and floods your TL with stupid views on every subject ! Generally free all the time ! Attention seeker
" On Twitter for friendship " = looking for a gal to chat with and something more .. has never had a gf or a friend ! Constantly tweets about ex-gf ( which never was)
..will continue adding new words as I find them on various Bios …
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